Wooden it Be Nice?

In olden times, in fact, as far back as the caveman days, styling tools for women were made of the only stuff they had around: natural stuff. Paleolithic hair dryers were carved of wood and only worked on very windy days, curlers were made of rags and/or bones, and to straighten your hair, you had to sleep with your head between two flat rocks! People didn’t shampoo back then, because, duh, cavemen don’t EVEN appreciate nice smelling hair. And if you’ve ever seen a “Dawn of Man” exhibit, you know conditioner was definitely not happening either.

Eventually, people started washing their hair, and using conditioner, which they called “Cream Rinse.” They also started harnessing the power of electricity for their beauty needs. In the 20s, a new kind of hair dryer was invented using a vacuum cleaner, but it seriously and literally both sucked and blowed. Much like early computers, hairdryers from the 30s-50s were huge, and required sitting under a helmet while gossiping. It wasn’t until the late 50s that we got anywhere close to where we are today with home hair dryers, but it was necessary to wear a plastic bonnet attached to a tube attached to a thing. They were only 400 watts (nowadays they’re more like 1500) so it must have taken FOREVER. Inconvenient by today’s standards, but it practically forced you to maintain your mani/pedi while you were sitting around waiting for your hair to dry. Finally, someone invented a “lightweight” handheld model, encased in Bakelite, which you can bet weighed a ton, but ladies back then didn’t really go to the gym, so it worked out okay. Ever since then most of our hot tools have been safely covered in a hard plastic shell. They haven’t really changed much, except for getting smaller/faster/lighter/stronger and using negative ions, ceramic and (coming soon?) lasers.

For those of you yearning for the “Wooden Age” of hair styling, Paul Mitchell has decided to go waaay back in history and produce a limited edition collection of styling tools in a “nature inspired bamboo pattern”. While they’ve pretty much copied the look of prehistoric hair dryers exactly, the new models have all the technology today’s women have become dependent upon. However, they’ve taken some liberties by producing a faux-bois flat iron to go along with it. I guess they assumed modern women are too “faaanncyyy” for the whole hair-between-rocks thing. So if today’s black, white, red, pink, yellow, blue, purple or silver hot tools are way too futuristic for you, Paul Mitchell has what you need for $160-$190. Probably a better option than carving your own and hoping for wind.

This post is meant for entertainment purposes and many facts presented are not, in fact, factual.