Maybe She’s Born With It. Maybe It’s Photoshop.

Recently, a friend of mine asked me if I had tried the new Doll Lashes mascara from Lancome. I admitted it had piqued my interest, but I hadn’t bought it. I told her to let me know what she thought if she ended up trying it. The next day, she reported back that she had gone to check it out but she didn’t like the brush and the mascara had a weird smell. I gave it a whiff when I was in Sephora earlier this week, and I agree. It smells... gaudy? It smells like what fake flowers would smell like if fake flowers had a smell.

It got me thinking about buying mascara in general. The only way we can find out how/if it works is by buying it and trying it ourselves, or by getting feedback from people who have already bought it and tried it. Because, really, mascara ads are total bullshit.

I know most ads have a certain amount of B.S. (I used to work in advertising!) I know it’s all supposed to be “aspirational,” and I get it. I do. But the mascara ads take it to another level, and they have been slowly and steadily raising my ire.

Almost every mascara ad I see uses fake lashes, either glued on or photoshopped in. Often both. If it’s all fake, what are we supposed to base our decision on? The description? The claims that are carefully worded so the product doesn’t legally have to provide the results shown? After all, they never promise it will work for YOU.

Obviously, every mascara is going to work differently for each person, based on how they apply it and what their eyelashes are like to begin with. But seriously, find a model with great lashes and give us a best-case scenario.

The ad below is really over the top. The model’s lashes are, like, the fakiest fakes that ever faked a fake. And granted, they never say that those are her real lashes. They just say “It’s a false lash glam look, in a tube, instantly!” The ad IMPLIES that the lashes in the photo are from using this particular mascara, but the model could also be there just to show what a false lash glam look is. Tricky! However, the tiny copy at the bottom says “Erin is wearing New Volum Express The Falsies in Very Black.” And that has to be true, and I’m 100% sure that it is. But she is also wearing a lot of other stuff. Including pixels.




Granted, a savvy (or even half-savvy) consumer recognizes that the lashes in the ads are fake. And everyone knows that advertisers exaggerate. STILL. How do I know I want it if I can’t see what it really does? Or at least SORT OF what it does? To be honest, I’m kind of tired of buying a feeling or an idea. I want facts and I want results.

I’m not saying this is not a good mascara. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind trying it, but the ad pisses me off so I probably won’t. (Unless someone tells me it’s REALLY AMAZING.) Like I said, I’ve been getting increasingly annoyed at mascara ads, and now I don’t want to buy any new ones. Plus, I’m still very happy with Buxom.

I’m also not saying that things shouldn’t be photoshopped to look better. Trust me, if there was going to be a close up photo of me in a magazine, I sure-as-shit would want a little (a lot of) digital perfecting. But let’s keep it within reason, okay?

Speaking of over-the-top retouching, they really did a number on the ladies in the Doll Lashes ad! (See main image.) They do, indeed, look like dolls. Creepy, plastic, alien dolls.

Watching you.

So, what can we do? Nothing, pretty much. Except talk to each other and make use of product reviews and, *ahem*, blogs. Do a little research before making our purchases, which is a good idea no matter what you’re going to buy. Still, that all depends on some of us actually buying and writing about these things. Luckily, some stores have good return policies, though I can’t imagine trying to take something back to Duane Reade, new or used. (D/R employees have a tendency to be surly.)

It seems that the laws are slightly more strict in the UK, where “adverts” have actually been banned for misleading the public by showing fake lashes without ample disclaimers. I haven’t heard of any of that here in the U.S. From this stack of beauty magazines, it seems like everyone can do pretty much whatever they want, at least for now. Freeeeeedooooom! I guess.