Proof

While I was “down the shore” I tried out some waterproof eye makeup. I’m not a big crier, so I figured the ocean would kind of be like a big salty cry, and would really put this stuff to the test. I had heard great things about Maybelline One By One Volum’ Express Hydrofuge Mascara, so I used that in Blackest Black (none more black!) For eyeliner, I used Make Up For Ever Aqua Liner in Mat Black (which is a matte black, go fig.) I didn’t use eye shadow, because, seriously? But I did try out Tarte Cheek Stain in Flush and indeed felt quite tarted up for the beach.

Generally, I don’t wear makeup on the beach. My eyes are behind sunglasses, my face is under a big hat, and also, who cares? Still, I wanted to see what this waterproof stuff could do, so I tested it out under the most extreme water I had available: The Atlantic Ocean.

After a few hours (and more bocce!) on the beach, it was time for a swim. The water was pretty warm for early summer, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have wanted to go in, except I had to in order to test the makeup. So, lucky me, I guess. I’m a little bit of a princess about swimming in the ocean since I started traveling to places where the water is crystal clear, warm, and full of pretty fish and sea turtles. These days the grayish waters along the coast of New Jersey and Delaware just don’t tempt me like they used to. Still, if I’m hot enough, and the water is not freezing, I’m usually up for a dip. And this time, I was on a mission.

While I managed to apply mascara and a sufficiently glamorous cat-eye before I left the house, I forgot to bring a mirror with me to check in on the makeup. Luckily, a couple of my husband’s female cousins were on the beach with us, along with an array of brothers and male cousins, who are pretty useless when it comes to makeup, and proud of it. I enlisted one of the girls to keep me apprised of the eye makeup situation as we waded into the water. My biggest fear was that my cat-eyes would turn into raccoon-eyes. Actually, my biggest fear was that I would lose my bikini in the waves, because it was pretty rough out there. The waves were really big for Ocean City, and we weren’t even near a jetty or anything.

Most of my “swimming” in the ocean is really just jumping waves. There is no riding waves in string bikini, at least not if you’re modest. Some of the waves were really too big, or were breaking in the wrong spot, so I had to duck under them instead of jumping up and letting the water lift me over the top. This meant that the full force of the Atlantic Ocean was rushing over me. It definitely tested the limits of both the eye makeup and my bathing suit.

One thing about wearing eye makeup in the ocean: You don’t really think about how often you’re going to want to rub your eyes until it’s too late. Even if your eyes are closed when you go under, when you surface, they’re going to sting a bit, and you CANNOT RUB. Just try blinking a lot to wash the salt out and think about how pretty you look, and if looking pretty is really worth it.

I spent most of the day on the beach, then came back and left the makeup on for my shower. When I got out, I was impressed. The little flicky tail parts of the cat eye had worn off, but the rest still looked pretty great. I think as long as you don’t wipe or rub your eyes, this stuff will stay on. Of course, if you were crying hysterically and dabbing your eyes with snotty tissues, you’d be out of luck. I don’t think the makeup would run as much as flake off though, so that’s still pretty good. And if you’re just worried about a couple of tears at a wedding or sappy movie, I think you’d be set. Same if you have watery eyes from allergies.

I haven’t put this to the pool test yet. The conditions would be slightly different with the addition of chlorine, and probably more time spent underwater, though with less force. But I think most of us would be more likely to wear makeup to a pool party than we would to the beach, so I’ll definitely have to try it out next time I have the opportunity to swim in a pool, which unfortunately won’t be until August. Hopefully it doesn’t rain that day.

Some things about the eye makeup that is not related to its waterproof-ness: The mascara is nice and not clumpy. It’s not as great as my beloved Buxom, but it’s good. It has the rubbery kind of brush, which I like, though it sort of has a strange torpedo shape which is kind of weird. The black is as blackest black as they say it is. The eyeliner works as well as any liquid I’ve tried, though it’s not the most foolproof applicator. (Admittedly, it’s NEVER foolproof with liquid liner.) It has the same issue they all do, where it might flake off a little if you backtrack after it’s dried, but I don’t think the waterproof aspect takes anything away from the quality of the liner. Both products were pretty nice, and really, they stayed on like champs!

As for the Tarte stain, I don’t think it lasted through the getting-hit-in-the-face-with-the-ocean test. It was kind of hard to tell. I wasn’t my usual pale self because I had been using the Dr. Gross Glow Pads every other day. Which btw, continue to be awesome!!! My mother in law didn’t even believe me when I told her it was fake! She insisted I had gotten a tan on my face. Nope! When it comes to my face, I am vigilant with the sun protection! I will say that the cheek stain looked pretty nice while it lasted. A nice bit of natural looking sheer color, that under normal circumstances, would probably last quite awhile.

I actually used to use this stuff years ago (I had it in Blushing Bride) but I really only like it on bare skin. Since bare skin with blush was rare after I stopped letting the sun on my face and before I found the glow pads, (about a five year gap!) I gave away that particular Tarte Cheek Stain ages ago. I can’t imagine actually using one of these up unless you’re truly obsessed with it. There is a LOT of product in those squat little tubes! The colors are pretty, they blend WAY more easily than Benetint, and they smell like candy!

Now that we’ve got our eye makeup sorted, and a good option for low-key blush, how do we find a flattering bikini that isn’t too sporty, but will let us romp in the waves as carefree as the boys? Seriously, if my bathing suit stayed on as well as this eye makeup, I would be thrilled!