A Mascara By Any Other Name

Oh, Mascara. One of our favorite subjects. One of our favorite things! I’ve already given you my thoughts on the advertising, but now I want to talk about the names. Just for fun.

The names given to beauty products, and their bazillions of colors, are often amusing. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes by accident. In the best cases they reinforce the brand image: “We’re cheeky!” (Benefit) “We’re edgy!” (Urban Decay) “We’re really into music AND nail polish!” (Deborah Lippman) In general though, most of the names are as dramatic as the photoshopping in their ads. It’s something I’ve been thinking about, so today I’ve listed and categorized some of the “best” mascara names.

Mascara That’s Very Punny
Givenchy Captiv’Eyes Mascara
Givenchy Phenomen’Eyes Effet Extension
Givenchy Eye Fly Lash Extender Mascara
Tarina Tarantino Fleur De Lash
Stila Forever Your Curl Curl Memory Mascara
Stila Glamoureyes Mascara
Too Faced Lashgasm Mascara
Too Faced Lashlight
Tarte Lights, Camera, Lashes
Tarte Lights, Camera, Splashes Waterproof Mascara
Urban Decay Supercurl Curling Mascara
Tarte MultiplyEYE Lash Enhancer
Illamasqua Masquara
Almay One Coat Get Up & Grow Mascara
Physican’s Formula PlentiFull Thickening Mascara
Revlon FabuLash Mascara
Napoleon Perdis Mesmer-Eyes Mascara
Cargo SupersEyes Mascara

Mascara for Robots
Smashbox Bionic Mascara
d.j.v. beautenizer Fiberwig LX
Fusion Beauty LAshFusion XL Micro-Technology Instant Lash Volumizer
Lancome Oscillation Vibrating Infinitely Powermascara
L’Oreal Telescopic Explosion Mascara
Maybelline Volum’Express Turbo Boost
Milani Power Lash

Mascara That JustNeedsToTellYouOneMoreThingRealQuick
Bare Escentuals bareMinerals Flawless Definition Volumizing Mascara
Lancome Virtuose Black Carat Divine Lasting Curves Length & Volume Mascara
Lancome Défencils Precious Cells High Definition Amplifying Mascara
Lancome L’Extreme Instant Extensions Lengthening Mascara
Lancome Hypnose Drama Instant Full Body Volume Mascara
Fusion Beauty StimuLashFusion Lash Enhancing + Lengethening Mascara
Yves Saint Laurent Mascara Singulier Exaggerated Lashes- Dramatic Styling
Yves Saint Laurent Mascara Volume Effet Faux Cils Luxurious Mascara
Dior DiorShow Iconic Extreme Waterproof Mascara

Mascara That Take Things Literally
Clinique High Definition Lashes Brush Then Comb Mascara
Clinique Rethink Lashes Top To Bottom Mascara
Maybelline Volum’Express One by One Mascara

Mascara That Will Try To Steal Your Boyfriend
Benefit Cosmetics They’re Real Mascara
The Balm Two-Timer Mascara
Too Faced Size Queen Mascara
Fairydrops Scandal Queen Mascara
Kat Von D Sin-Full Lash Mascara
Benefit Cosmetics A Little Bit BADgal Lash Mascara
Hourglass Superficial Lash
Bobbi Brown Extreme Party Mascara
Maybelline Volum’Espress The Falsies
Rimmel Sexy Curves Mascara
Napoleon Perdis Peep Show Mascara
bareMinerals Big Tease Mascara

Mascara That Will Kick Your Ass
Ultraflesh Panthera Mascara
Tokidoki Punk Lash Mascara
Peter Thomas Roth Lashes To Die For The Mascara
Dior DiorShow Black Out Mascara
Smashbox Hyperlash Mascara
Sephora Collection Atomic Volume Mascara
Maybelline The Colossal Mascara
L’Oreal Lash Out Mascara
Maybelline Lash Stiletto Mascara
Urban Decay Cannonball Ultra Waterproof Mascara

Mascara That Sounds Painful
Too Faced Lash Injection Pin Point
Sephora Collection Lash Stretcher
Talikea Eyelash Lipocils
Covergirl LashBlast Fusion Mascara
Revlon Double Twist Mascara
DuWop Lash Venom Mascara

Mascara That Thinks it’s Cute
Lancome Hypnose Doll Lashes Mascara
Hello Kitty I Love Lashes Mascara
Blinc Kiss Me Mascara

Mascara That is Full of It
Hourglass Film Noir Full Spectrum Mascara
Sephora Collection Full Action Extreme Effect Mascara
Laura Mercier Full Blown Volume Lash Building Mascara
Smashbox Full Exposure Mascara

Mascara That Might Be Exaggerating A Little
Bobbi Brown Everything Mascara
Ultraflesh The Gold Standard Mascara
Shiseido Perfect Mascara
Stila MAJOR Major Lash Mascara
Covergirl Lash Perfection Mascara
Rimmel Extra Super Lash Mascara
Nars Larger Than Life Mascara

Mascara That Will Get You High
Kat Von D High Frequency Mascara
Clinique High Impact Mascara
Clinique High Lengths Mascara
Urban Decay Skyscraper Multi-Benefit Mascara
Fresh Supernova Mascara
Urban Decay Big Fatty Mascara


WHEW! Let me know if I missed any good ones!