Does This Lip Stick Make Me Look Fat?

Clinique’s new Chubby Sticks, shown here with what appear to be the most delicious knox blox ever, will make your lips sneaky-pretty.

They have mango and shea butters, which are meant to be “super nourishing”, but I wouldn't consider this a replacement for a good balm if your lips are feeling dry. Still, the texture is nice and smooth, not sticky at all. Despite the name, and the fact that some of us could really use it, this product does not provide any lip plumping benefits. The big win here is that it’s natural looking, but not so natural looking that it’s pointless.

The color is sheer, and the shine is somewhere between subtle and nonexistent. Since it’s not glossy or shimmery, it gives a really great “I was just born this way” impression. I was recently admiring my niece’s impossibly pink lips and impossibly long, black eyelashes, and now I am totally copying her look. I don’t care if she’s only six.

The sticks come in eight flavors, which are really just colors. The balm itself is flavorless, which is kind of a good thing, since I’m not actually six years old. After drawing a few stripes on my hand in Sephora, I chose Super Strawberry because it came with a free cape. (JK! I wish.) I kind of want to buy another shade too, maybe Chunky Cherry or Mega Melon for when I want a warmer look. Or maybe, the strangely spelled “Woppin’ Watermelon”.  All the flavor-sounding colors are really delicious-looking so it’s hard to choose.

This is a good option for when traditional lipstick or gloss feel like too much. When you want to look pretty, but don’t want to look done up. If you’re a makeup lover like me, this is for a more casual day. Running errands, watching football at the bar, going to the gym (if you even care), sitting at home but not wanting to look like a disaster, etc. Schlubby Stick! Or Anti-Schlubby Stick, really. It’s the lip color you should have been born with, but instead will cost you $15.