Mission: Control

If you are a regular reader, you might be wondering “But how did she ever deal with her crazy hair?” If you are a regular reader with crazy hair, you might have wondered a slightly longer wonder, ending with “and what should I do with mine?”

Frizzies

I had given up on Frizz-Ease after one too many accidental overdoses. One pump was never enough, two or three was sometimes enough, or sometimes too much. Eventually I was just done with it.

Guacamasqué

Generally, I would never waste a perfectly good avocado by doing anything other than eating it. But, I happened to have three ripe avocados on hand that were getting riper aaaand rrrriiiiperrrr and I figured I could spare one to try out a hair treatment I read about… ugh…somewhere on the internet. (I attempted to find it again, but it’s like finding a needle in 5 million haystacks.)

It’s funny that during the week I’m trying to write about things that are free or really cheap, I am using a notoriously expensive fruit, but still. It's pretty cheap as far as beauty products go.

So, what you do is take an avocado, an egg yolk, and a teaspoon of olive oil, and you mash it all up for approximately 100 years. You have to mash it really well, because otherwise you’re going to have chunks of avocado falling off your head while you’re wearing it. It would probably be a good idea to use a food processor or something to get it really smooth, but I didn’t feel like washing anything extra so I just mashed forever.

The thing I read advised you to section your hair into quarters, which I didn’t do at first, but I quickly realized it’s a good idea to do that because you really have to work this into your hair, and you might miss some spots if you’re not careful.

Also, even if you ARE careful, you shouldn't wear a good shirt while you’re doing this. I put on a robe that I didn’t really care about, and I’m glad, because it took a few hits.

After you work the avocado glop through your hair, you’re supposed to put your hair into a bun. I ended up with two buns, one in front, and one in back. For me, it was just easier to get some of the hair out of the way before I started coating the back section. Four buns would actually make a lot of sense too.

I have a lot of hair, even though it’s significantly shorter now, but this recipe made a lot of goop and I had a few tablespoons left. If your hair is short or thin, you could probably just make half a recipe and then eat than other half of the avocado on whole wheat toast with some kosher salt. (Or giant crystals of Maldon sea salt, if you’re fancy.)

In fact, you could eat it while you’re waiting, because you have to let the mask soak in for half an hour. If you had one of those disposable shower caps you stole from a hotel, it would probably be great to put that on. But if it’s buried somewhere in the cabinet under your sink, you’ll be fine without it as long as your buns are well secured. Always make sure your buns are well secured.

The mask gets a little bit hard/dried out in parts, but otherwise doesn’t change much. When it’s time to rinse, wait until you get into the shower to take out the bun or buns, it’s less risky. Plus, you can just wash the ponytail holders while you’re in there.

After you rinse out all the guacamasqué, shampoo and condition as usual. I let my hair air dry, which I tend to do these days.

Hours pass. Hair dries. Laundry gets did.

So, this definitely didn’t do anything for my frizz, but I guess it didn’t promise that. It’s only meant to be hydrating, which… ehhh. A little? My hair is softer maybe? It certainly didn’t work any miracles.
Next time, I’m making guacamole.

Goody Goody

I’ve been on the lookout for these Goody Doublewear Ponytail Holder/Bracelets since before Christmas (I mean: “The Holidays.”) Finally, I thought to look online, and found them easily at Drugstore.com. I would have rather had the gold ones, but they only had silver in the ponytail size. They had a gold/silver combo pack in the headband size, and I didn’t even know there WAS a headband size! Anyway, silver ponytailers. They’re good!

GlamEars Are A Thing

I saw these in the back of a magazine, where they hide all the really amazing stuff. They are silicone ear-cozies to protect you from burning your ears.

A Nest For Birds, There Ain't No Words...

I recently cut about 7” off my hair due to boredom/laziness/new-year-new-you-fanaticism. I was also suspicious that my long straight hair was visually “pulling down my face.” I really like having it shorter, but at the same time, I haven’t exactly figured out how to manage my new ‘do yet.

Take A Bow

Hey! Remember those easy-to-make-but-I-bought-them-anyway hair ties? The ones that were basically a scrap of F.O.E. with a knot in it? Well, someone one-upped the Twistband people and made A BOW. It’s almost as obvious as the Twistbands themselves, possibly more so. It’s called The Bow, and it's adorable. I don't know where they came up with that name though.

The Twist

You’re never going to believe what’s been in my hair, on my wrist, or on my bedside table since the day I got it. Is it a bird? NO. Is it a plane? NO. It is the Twistband? YEAH. I am totally hooked on what is basically a loop of elastic, tied in knot.

Straight Talk

I was going to wait to tell you about this stuff until I had time to really put it through it’s paces, but to be honest, the weather forecast is 89,96, 99, 97, 89 and I don’t think it’s going to be cooling down for at least another month and half. I seriously doubt I’ll be wearing my hair down anytime soon, and if you have bangs, you need to know about this now.

Glisten Up

Hey, now! I thought this was going to be just another shine spray, but this here is somethin’ special. I actually said “Hey, now!” out loud, to myself, after I used it. It’s not something I usually say, but there it was. Hey, now!

Crazy Soft Hair, is Currently Both Soft and Crazy

I woke up this morning looking like a cavewoman, but without the boobs and the eyeliner. This is not an uncommon look for me to wake up with, especially if I wore my hair up in a bun the day before. But today my hair was soft. Like, REALLY soft.

Headline

As I mentioned yesterday, I’m vigilant about protecting my face from the sun. But what’s holding my face on my body? Is that important too? Well, it's my head, and most of the time I consider it to be important and useful. Let's put it this way: I certainly wouldn’t want to be without it! Here are the things I use to protect my head, and it’s parts, on the beach.

Don’t Get Salty With Me (Deownt Git Sawdy Witme!)

 Last summer I had a keratin treatment, so it was pretty easy to keep my hair straight, or at least frizz-free, with minimal effort. This year, I wanted to try to wear it wavy again, for a change, and also for not spending $200+. So when I got my hair cut this week, I told my hairdresser I wanted to take a break from the flat-iron and work with my natural texture for the summer.

Summer vs My Hair: Part 1

Ready or not, summer weather is here. Tagging along with the lovely Heat is her frenemy, Humidity. No one likes having her around, but she always shows up anyway, acting like Heat’s BFF and making everyone uncomfortable. Then people start complaining about the Heat, but it’s totally not her fault! It’s the stinking Humidity!

This Product May or May Not Totally Stink

Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Blow Dry Perfector is a “2-Step Smoothing Kit” which promises “Tames Frizz Stays Smooth & Shiny Easier, Faster Blow Dries”. I had to read that about three times to make any sense of it, especially because of the way it’s printed on the box. (Great job, copywriter and art director!) But you get the gist, and it seems good, right?

Fly Flyaway

Despite my extremely awesome flat iron, one thing that still plagues me is flyaways. I use Goldwell Star Polish, a “shine wax”, which is great for static and dry ends, but I don’t like putting too much of it near my roots, because it’s a little greasy. (Same thing with my Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum, and many of the other frizz-taming products I've tried.) Plus, the crazy hairs along my part are extremely obstinate and the Star Polish just doesn’t have the muscle to make them submit.

Spraypoo? Shamspray?

I’ve always been somewhat fascinated with the 1950s and 60s. When I was a pre-teen, my mom, a champion garage-sale shopper, brought home a stack of old Seventeen Magazines, all dated in the 60s and 70s. I must have flipped through those magazines a hundred times; I think they’re still stored somewhere in my parent’s attic. I loved looking at the clothes, the hair, even the advertisements. One of the ads that stood out was for something called PSSSSSST! Dry Shampoo. (I may have too many or too few s’s in there, but you get the point.) It featured the girl from the Partridge family, who google tells me is named Susan Dey. I thought it was so weird that dry shampoo was a thing! I even remember asking my mom about it, because it boggled my mind. (How can it be dry AND shampoo?!) It makes a lot more sense now, and after my “History of The Blowdryer” post, I can see why ladies didn’t wash their hair much. But back then, I was definitely perplexed.

Can’t Wait for Waves

Many people, like me, have excellent self-control, and never buy anything extra when they go to the drugstore. But not me! Very often, I’ll find something new and exciting that I’ve got to try.

One such buy was Sally Hershberger Wave Spray. Last summer I got a keratin treatment that, combined with my excellent flat iron, allowed me to wear my hair smooth and straight for most of the summer. This summer I think I want to have a little bit of a softer look, and work with the natural texture in my hair. I want it to look and, more importantly, BE effortless. Since I CANNOT WAIT until summer, I was easily sold when I saw the Wave Spray, which they claim “creates tousled sexy curves.” Sally Hershberger has a whole line of products now available at Duane Reade, sporting somewhat ill-advised packaging design. But I looked past the seafoam green plastic bottle and saw only the promise of easy summer hair.

Wooden it Be Nice?

In olden times, in fact, as far back as the caveman days, styling tools for women were made of the only stuff they had around: natural stuff. Paleolithic hair dryers were carved of wood and only worked on very windy days, curlers were made of rags and/or bones, and to straighten your hair, you had to sleep with your head between two flat rocks! People didn’t shampoo back then, because, duh, cavemen don’t EVEN appreciate nice smelling hair. And if you’ve ever seen a “Dawn of Man” exhibit, you know conditioner was definitely not happening either.

My Favorite Band

You know when there’s something that consistently annoys you, but it’s so small you don’t bother to fix it?

That was happening to me whenever I washed my face. I had been using elastic headbands from the drugstore to hold my hair back, and they just weren't working for me. They were the ones they make for little girls, because I have a little tiny head, so they were pink, lavender, and teal. They were 1” wide, and because I have a serious amount of bangs, my hair always curled over the top and onto my (also little tiny) forehead. Then, the tips of my bangs and my hairline would get wet, and I’d end up with a “There’s Something About Mary” hairdo by the time I took the headband off.